I will be HONEST.
As a "D" or "A" personality I can be fairly direct and with that, in my book, I've felt myself to be a pretty honest person.
But lately, I'm learning that direct, doesn't often reflect the depth of someones truth. Sure something can be direct and TRUE, but what's really going on under there? What's really happening behind the actions, words, and hesitations?
We've all been there... in a conversation where something is said, but there's so much more behind the words... As my southern self would say "there's more paste in the tube" from where that statement came from! There are so many layers and levels to us, and what we choose to connect with, let alone admit and release aren't always reflective of a true descent into the depths of what we are REALLY going through or where we're REALLY at.
Today's intention word for the Hustle + Soul is HONEST. Not just to be truthful at a direct face value, although that’s a great place to start! But a deeper level of understanding for myself and for others.
Let's Dive In
As a little girl, I had the incredibly rare privilege and blessing to live on the island of Oahu. It was here where my love for the ocean, and obsession with creation began. To get me out of the water was nothing short of a miracle. If I wasn't shriveled like a prune like from the water, brunt like a lobster from the sun, or sore like a punching bag from the waves - I wasn't done.
People called me Amanda, and “Adventure” was my middle name.
If I could climb it, I did.
If I could ride it, I would.
If I could hike it, I couldn't be stopped - warning signs be damned.
Suffice it to say that when the opportunity to surfaced to learn how to deep sea dive arose when I was 7 or 8, I quite literally jumped in fins first.
"Alright before we begin, we are going to head over to the training pool", the instructor said.
I concluded in my second grade mind it was fair that I learn a thing or two about the tank and gauges before meeting the sharks head on but was pretty confident in everything else. After all, I had met the ocean before, and the ocean had met me. So I humored the supervising adults, headed to the "training pool", and plopped in like the self-proclaimed champ I felt I was.
"First things first, NEVER HOLD YOUR BREATH..." The pro-diver firmly instructed, "you stop breathing, you stop living."
I can still feel the eye roll under my junior goggles but I gave an agreeable and performative nod in hopes to move things along, I was READY.
After about 15 mins of "do this's" and "don't do that's" we were DIVERS in training and our fins were finally free to roam the great big blue…swimming pool. Yep, all 15 feet of it.
"C'mon man!!!" I thought disappointed, "Let's just go already!! It's not that serious."
The instructor preached "Now before we head out there FOR REAL, we’re first going to master our equipment and breathing HERE."
He blew his little red Baywatch whistle and off I went, diving head first, quickly descending like the Little Mermaid that I was...
4 feet, 5 feet, 6 feet, 7 feet, 8 feet... uh oh.
Suddenly my confidence began to dwindle as my fellow junior divers' fins began to pass me by, I had become stuck... paralyzed with what felt like the worst pressure in my head any human had ever experienced. It hurt to open my eyes, my vision was blurry, and I was convinced my head was literally bleeding and/or going to explode at any moment. My name is Amanda, and I was dramatic - but I was also experiencing the end of my diving career. I couldn't continue.
I began to panic, quickly swimming like someone who had never seen a drop of water, toward the surface, for freedom from this horrible pain. Finally back on dry land, I felt defeated.
What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I do it? Did this mean I wasn't able to dive anymore? What about the ocean?
Turns out, what I was experiencing was some super common issue called "Sinus Barotrauma" - which is a fancy way of saying the sinuses fail to equalize to barometric changes during vertical travel resulting in damage to the sinuses which can cause sharp facial pain, with nosebleeds, and even severe damage to the inner ears. A completely avoidable issue when diving is approached with the proper protocol. Turns out that "head first" move I made — not the best idea in diving as all the blood rushes to your head creating additional pressure. There's also an important little something called the "equalization" process - a segment of the training I clearly missed while I was very likely thinking about The Power Rangers (the Green Ranger) and what snack I'd have by the pool later (a cookies n cream milkshake from the swim up bar).
Without getting into ALL the details, the bottom line with equalization: it's a series of basic steps to balance the increasing pressure on the sinuses and middle ear spaces while you dive deeper.
So what's the moral of the story? Going deeper was always possible if I learned and deployed a few basic, practical steps along the way. BUT if it hurt or I hit a limit, I could always come back up for air.
Going Deeper
In a world of "it's fine", "no worries", and "all goods" - the surface of our actual truth, is such a triumph to identify - and one to celebrate.
Your truth is beautiful, your truth is yours, and it's ok to be honest with yourself, with others, and with God.
1 - Sometimes we need help.
Regardless of how professional of a diver we think we are, we ALL need a little help.
Check out betterhelp.com or https://www.bethelsozo.com/ for incredible resources.
2 - If it hurts, equalize.
Unearthing past traumas, having the courage to say yes/no, finally transitioning that relationship... anything that causes you pain is an indicator that you should equalize. It's ok to be uncomfortable and stretch like that champion you are BUT be honest with yourself when you need space, time, and recovery. As you care for yourself in the process, you will no doubt achieve new depths successfully.
3 - Don't stop breathing.
When we are stressed, we hold our breath, tense our shoulders, and freak the hell out lol. Panicking makes it hard to see ANYTHING clearly let alone our true selves. Slow down, take a breath, acknowledge what you feel, let God into it, and exhale freely.
4 - There are depths undiscovered.
Regardless of how much you've seen or experienced, revelation is unending for those who seek it.
OH HEY!
I’m Amanda McIntire, a multi-passionate, creative strategist, entrepreneur, and branding specialist focused on one thing - IMPACT.
As a young, self-taught, graphic design and marketing freelancer, Amanda parlayed her unique experiences and business savvy into establishing the full service creative consultancy (MAC Creative) in Chicago, IL serving clients around the world.
